It’s Grind Time. Again. 2024 Week 1 Review

via GIPHY

Dynasty Grinders 2024: Season 8 Week 1

Baseball Season Is Finally Here!ย  After a boring winter of Scott Boras puns and Ohtani deferring the money he owes his underground bookie, the game we all love is upon us. Welcome to another exciting season of Dynasty Grinders baseball. You all are pre-season Champs in my book, but there can only be one slightly overweight, mediocre fantasy player left standing in October. Who will it be? Well, letโ€™s dive into Week 1 and see who decided to show up, or not.

Marshall Law claims the early Overall Points leader throne with 1091.1 total points in Week 1. The Commish laid down the law with a well-rounded squad to open the season, thanks to Ketel Marte, William Contreras, Corbin Burnes, and Freddy Peralta. Suplex City Shooters dropped his Big Stick on the table with 662.4 Hitting Points, led by the gambling addict Shohei Ohtani and Bobby Witt Jr. H-Town Trash Can Punch had no problem punching out batters with a whopping 528 Pitching Points on the week. His arms, that will all soon have Tommy John, were led by Shane Bieber (RIP) and Tanner Houck.

The individual point leaders on the week were TBDโ€™s Mookie Betts with 157.1 points (thanks a lot Korea) and Suplex City Shootersโ€™ Garrett โ€œMy Grandma Taught Meโ€ Crochet with 131.5 points.

via GIPHY

It is early, but a couple players appeared to still be coming off their off-season benders of 12oz curls and Slim Jims. Stros Bro had to endure a -11.4 points week from the Blitzkrieg Wunderkind, Max Kepler. Meanwhile, Eastbound and Dowd, got a coked-up Kenny Powers performance from Bailey Ober totaling -36 points.

via GIPHY

There were a handful of trades to start the season, but they were all shit since none of the good players got traded to me. Moving forward, there will be full trade reviews by yours truly, and anyone else who cares to add their worthless two cents. Remember itโ€™s all fun and games when you read how awful I think your trade is.

Best of luck to all in Week 2! (except you H-Town)

Some parting words of wisdom for all the pitchers out there during this noodle arm pandemic:

โ€œThe key to being a big-league pitcher is the 3 R’s: readiness, recuperation, and conditioning! You see, after the game, a lot of guys like to ice up their arm. Still, other fellas think that heat is the way to go. But I have discovered the secret, Henry: hot ice! That’s right: hot ice. I heat up… the ice cubes! It’s the best of both worlds!โ€ โ€“ Dr. Phil Brickma

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